Things I Thought Were True As A Kid But Are Actually Not

Hello, lovelies!

Today I thought we'd take a trip down memory lane. Basically, lately I've been recalling weird things that I as a child thought were facts, but are honestly the most ridiculous things. And of course, little kid me didn't think to even ask to clarify my "facts" so it took a long time to figure out that I wasn't exactly understanding.

So, here we go!

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1.) You're Going Where?

I'm 90% sure these are elsewhere besides where I live, but in case you don't have them, a strip mall is basically just a small line of buildings (usually they sell clothes). However, when I was probably in late elementary, I'd heard of strippers (no, not because anyone I knew was being sketchy), and I thought that strip malls were places where strippers were. And when someone would say, "Oh, I went to that little strip mall to get a new pair of pants," I thought they were going to a place with strippers. Mhmm. I had to casually bring up in conversation with my mom what a strip mall was to finally clarify that no, a strip mall is not a place for strippers to hang out. *cringes*

2.) Chips Make You Fat

I learned at an early age that took much junk food is not good for you. I'd somehow learned that potato chips make you fat if you eat an excessive amount of them. I, however, took it one step further, because I thought it was my duty to tell everyone who was eating chips that those would make them fat. I thought I was doing a good deed, helping people not get fat. So when my family would be eating and somehow chips were involved, I would dance around our dining room table cheering, "Chips make you fat!" assuming that once you eat just a few, you instantly look like Santa. I have hence learned that chips don't quite have that extreme of an effect.

3.) Fish Face

While I wasn't that girl who would run around trying to kiss all of the little boys in my class, I did have a slight misconception about kissing. I thought the point of it was to pucker your lips as tightly as you could, a little bit like when you make the fishy face (sucking in your cheeks and making your lips puckered). It wasn't until I started watching more movies and reading more books that I realized the whole kissing idea wasn't about scrunching your face up. Good thing I realized that sooner than later, eh? That would make the first kiss thing quite awkward for the guy involved if I came at him with fish lips.

4.) I Am Indestructible

My mom would always tell me to drink my milk because calcium was good for me. She'd always say that it would give me strong bones. I thought this meant if I drank enough milk, my bones would be indestructible. I just assumed that all of my friends at the time who had been breaking their arms or spraining something were just not drinking enough milk. I never accused them of that, but I just thought they needed more milk in their lives. I'm sure calcium does help with bone strength, but perhaps not to the extreme that I had originally thought. That would create way too many superheroes in the world if all you needed was milk.

5.) Who's the Preacher?

My family always went to church on Sundays, and when I was very little (probably around 4 or 5?), I remember looking at the pastor at his little pulpit at the front of the church, and I was very confused. I had assumed since we were at church to learn about God, that God himself would be preaching. It just made sense in my head. So I leaned over to my parents and whispered (very loudly, I might add), "Is that God?". And my parents thought it was the funniest thing, and I couldn't understand why they were laughing at my very valid question. Turns out, it was just the pastor guy. I was very disappointed.

6.) Curses, Cursive!

When I was just learning how to write, the letter "a" stumped me. I started out writing them with the stem of the lowercase "a" being more of a curlycue, like the way cursive ones are written. I then thought that this was the only way to write that letter, and I remember actually telling my classmates that you have to write them like that. I was quickly told by my teacher a.) not to tell the other kiddos what to do, and b.) no, the letter "a" is not actually supposed to be printed like that. I just thought it looked prettier, personally, but I suppose each to their own. *le hair flip*

7.) I Say, Is That Blood?

WARNING: If you're a dude, I recommend you stop reading now, because you'll probably not enjoy this little girl chat. Just skip to the end and then be merrily on your way, alright?

Ahem. Now that that's over with, let's continue. When I was reaching about 5th grade (about 11 years-old), I started getting the whole talk from both school and home about periods. Mhmm. Yes, I just went there. Basically, all of the books that my mom bought me for "learning about the changes" all recommended that you have a sweatshirt on hand at all times in case you got blood on your pants. I thought that this was going to be a very common occurrence, and that a sweatshirt was going to be a necessity in the case of an emergency where I needed to tie it around my waist. Apparently that tip wasn't quite useful as I thought it was going to be. I have honestly never needed that tip, and I doubt I'll ever need to. Besides, it's going to be blatantly obvious if you're at school or somewhere and then suddenly you have a sweatshirt tied around you that definitely was not part of your outfit beforehand.

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Those are just a few of the things that I used to think were true, but it turns out they're not even close. Let me know in the comments if there are things you used to believe as a kid. (:

That is all.

Cheers,

Seana