I Hesitate To Post This

Hello, lovelies.

I was awake at five a.m. this morning, frantically scrolling through Twitter, sobbing as I read the words of gays, Mexicans, blacks, Muslims, women, and many others who were reacting to the news.

Today was the day that the results of our country's election were announced.

Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States.

Most years, the election comes and goes, but I never really pay attention to it. I would brush up on some basic facts about candidates, but I didn't get into heated debates or go crazy supporting one or the other. But this year was the first year many of my friends could vote. Talk rose among my classes, with guys from my grade bragging that they'd been to a Trump rally in Grand Rapids, chanting "BUILD THE WALL" on their Snapchat stories.

Yes, Clinton has her own issues that make me question how fit she would have been for presidency, but Trump has gone above and beyond in creating an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. I've seen the statistics, and I've seen that white voters tended to side with one candidate, while mixed races voted for the other. My heart aches for those who now awaken to a world that seems like a nightmare, a world where fear reigns and they cannot be completely themselves.

What I don't think some people understand is that a loose cannon is going to be allowed to govern this country. Yes, there's checks and balances to try and keep him in line, but his actions and words have reflected a darkness that makes me shiver.

Sexual assault is not okay.

Racial discrimination is not okay.

Treating refugees like the enemy is not okay.

Hatred because of someone's sexuality is not okay.

I harbor a deep disdain for those who bully their way to the top and assume superiority, because my heart lies firmly with justice and being a voice for those who many do not speak for. If we cannot heal divides and work together to love and create an atmosphere where we can all live in harmony instead of hatred, I fear for this country.

Illegal immigration does bring in drugs, I know that, but I have heard so many stories of young teens and children who are trying to escape from Latin America and send money home to their families, just trying to escape this poverty cycle they're trapped in. I learned today that one of my teachers sleeps with his legal documents next to his bed, and if that doesn't reflect how messed up this whole election has been, I don't know what is.

Muslims have shared tales of people trying to pull off their hijabs while they're only trying to walk the streets in peace. The same way we all are. Religion, ethnicity, sexuality, they are not excuses for putting someone down or assuming that you are better than they are.

Trump's running mate, Mike Pence supports conversion therapy for people in the LGBTQ+ community. I don't know what you believe when it comes to that topic, but it disgusts me that someone could think they could use things like electric shock therapy to try to forcefully break the very identity of a person, just because it doesn't match up to the way you think things should be.

I am Chinese.

Trump never mentioned my ethnicity in his speeches, but if he can get away with building a wall next to Mexico and if he can get away with sexually assaulting women, then what's stopping him from taking out every single other thing that displeases him with little repercussion? What if that lens gets attuned to me, to people like me someday? I already feel alienated every once and a while; I don't think I could take it if that alienation became a daily reoccurrence. I never thought that that kind of thing would ever cross my mind, but now, I don't know what to think anymore.

Four years.

That's a lot of time for a man like him to do serious damage.

That's a lot of time for hatred to brew and politics to make monsters out of men.

You don't have to agree with me, but I hope your heart breaks a little bit when you realize that these are real lives that are going to be impacted from here on out. You can try to objectify these issues and divides as much as you want, but it all comes back to reality when personal stories come out from people who have to live in this atrocity. Remember that every people group is made up of individuals with loves, families, reasons for living the way that they do. You cannot just shove everyone into a box and brush off your hands because your stereotype has been taken care of.

I hope for a better future, but my hope is fragile.

That is all.

Cheers,

Seana

PS: I'm sorry it's taken this long for a post to go up. I'm sorry that this post isn't happier, but this is life, and it cannot be avoided.

I love you all.