#AskSeana (#6): My Greatest Fear, Freshman Advice, and Eyeballs

Hello lovelies!

It's that time of the month (no, not that time of the month, gross). And as always, since you guys have sent me questions, I'm going to answer them in this little Q&A. Let's get started, shall we?

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Seana! What's your favorite color?

Royal blue. I just adore how gorgeous of a blue it is. It's just so rich and beautiful looking, and I don't look to shabby in it either. My second favorite color is a little bit of a maroonish color that a dress I once wore to a dance was.

(Those are both pictures of me wearing my favorite colors. Also just realized how the maroon dress picture makes me look reeeeeeaaaally skinny. *cringes* Like I know skinny is kind of the thing society wants us all to be, but eeep, put some muscle on, me! Although that was taken two years ago, and the blue dress was last year, so I suppose there's a time difference.)

What's your greatest fear?

My fears are kind of weird things. Like superficial fears for me are things that I can say I'm deathly afraid of, but if I'm faced with those fears I go into this weird fearless courage mode where I kick butt and those fears don't stand a chance. For instance, I cannot stand spiders. They freak me out. But when I see one and I'm with a group of my friends, I can usually just roll my eyes and shoo the little critter away. It's really strange. My fears turn me into this warrior princess would could flip a car if she had to. *hair flip*

But as for deeper fears, I'm afraid of failure. I'm so terrified of reaching for the stars and falling back to earth each time. Because I've noticed that generally the harder you try for something, the more easy it is to become frustrated and that make a mistake that causes you to fail. I've also noticed that I get discouraged very easily and if my heart isn't into something, it won't happen. And that's scary.

I'm also afraid of drowning. Not really literally since I know how to swim and all that jazz (thank you, 4th grade swimming lessons and those lessons my neighbors gave me when I was a wee little pup). But I'm terrified of getting sucked under and buried by everything that's happening in life. I'm scared of being drowned in expectations others give me and pressures I put on myself. I'm scared of not being good enough and always having to fight harder than everyone else to even the playing grounds and give myself a chance.

*clears throat* Well. That got intense quite quickly. Whoops!

Weirdest dream you've had recently?

I have the worst habit of thinking I'll remember my dreams, but they always fade away throughout the day and I can't remember my dreams unless I say they out loud to someone or write them down. And I generally don't remember to do either.

Here's the thing about my dreams. They're either completely off the wall weird, or they're pretty normal with just a very small twist. For example, I had a dream a while ago about some guy from my school. Which is normal, because every person in your dream is someone you've seen before (or so I've heard). But the weird part was in this dream for some reason I was kissing him. This guy who I've talked to before, but we're not even remotely close. Like he's a nice guy but we're not on that level. And so the next time I saw him, I remembered that dream and I could not look him in the eye I was so embarrassed. I know the dream wasn't real but still, I was real uncomfortable.

Hi seana, i'm going to be a freshman in high school this year, and i was wondering what your best piece of advice is? I'm really freaked out.

High school is not like High School Musical. I'm sorry.

My biggest piece of advice is to find a group of friends. Maybe these are old friends from middle school who'll become closer during your school year, or maybe these will be new friends you meet. Regardless, it's so so so important to have a crew of people that you know will have your back. If it helps, stick with a friend or two you've been with for a while and you guys can branch out together. For me, the scariest part was lunch hour, since I didn't know where my friends would be sitting in the cafeteria. But eventually you will find your way around and things will work out.

I'd also say not to take things too seriously. By that, I mean while you should study hard and all that wonderful school stuff, but you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself, okay? You're probably gonna meet some new faces and maybe you'll find a guy you like. But don't think that things that happen in your first year of high school are going to be as big of a deal as you'll feel like they are in the moment. I made the mistake of putting my happiness in someone else's hands and they walked away. Take charge of your happiness and just have a good time (responsibly, please).

Also, go to all the dances and football games. You only get four years to make high school memories, so you gotta make the most of it. Some of my favorite memories come from football games and bonfires with friends, so don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone.

Just curious, but does your family know about your blog?

No, they actually don't. I verily sneakily hide it.

There are a few reasons for this. Number one, my parents follow my personal Twitter account, so I like to have this little blog as my special place to be completely me and weird and spontaneous without parental eyes boring holes into my back. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but this blog isn't really something I'd want them keeping up to date with.

Also, my oldest brother would never let me live this blog down. He'd always be joking saying, "Ooh, are you gonna blog this?" and things along those lines, and quite frankly, we tease each other enough without giving him more ammo. Another reason I keep this blog private from them is because I write under a pseudonym. So in a way, I'm anonymous (ha, anonymous on the internet, that's funny). The last thing I want is them talking to their friends and acquaintances about me and my little blog. There's just something weird about knowing that all of your family's connections could know about your thoughts and weird obsessions.

What are you currently reading?

As of writing this post I'm reading Eye of Minds by James Dashner. He's the guy who wrote the Maze Runner trilogy that I hated, but I figured I should give him a second chance.

So far, I'm kind of bored. It's about a dystopian world where you can plug into these things called Coffins that transport your mind into a virtual game world that is in most ways like the real world, but amped up and anything that happens to you there isn't translated into the real world. And there's a boy who's a very skilled hacker and who has to save the world from some guy who's trapping people in the virtual world somehow. The plot point I just stated sound a little cliche, but I decided to give it a whirl. It's just not very fast paced, and knowing that half of the time they're in a virtual world that can't harm their real world selves makes the action that happens lose its intensity. It's like reading about a guy who's gonna jump off of a bridge and then land on the softest, squishiest inflatable rubber ducky in the world. It's just not as exciting.

Describe your crush. *wink*

Not even a question, but statement. Guess I better answer this one. (ALSO: This gif was sent to me along with the question, so I didn't choose it myself. But I do approve of their usage of a Dan Howell gif, so thumbs up to you.)

He's got medium dark brown hair and eyes that are blue-green (a mix that I've called "eyes like the color of springtime" before), and he's got a dimple when he smiles, which is kinda cute. He's pretty tall, but not so tall that I feel like I'm talking to a skyscraper. I mean, it's not a very serious crush, just one of those "Oh, he's pretty good looking and funny" type crushes. (And no, I'm not going to post a picture of him. That would require some serious explaining if he found it, and, quite frankly, I don't want to take that risk.)

What's something you think is under appreciated?

People who double text you to keep the conversation going. Like if you're one of those people who can sense the conversation has reached its end on a certain topic, and then you text the person again with a new topic in it, you are the real MVP. If you're one of these people, then the traditional celebratory Hank Green gif I am about to place within this post is for you.

Also, I think people's eyes are under-appreciated. Like some people have the prettiest eyes ever and I'm jealous. Apparently brown eyes like mine make people trust you more (or so I've read), and the darker they are, the more trustworthy you seem. So I suppose there's some good in having darker brown eyes (which one person had thought were black before, but they're not, I promise). I'm a huge fan of blue eyes because they're so amazing to look at. Green eyes kind of scare me for some reason, which is why I like blue and hazel better.

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Well, that's all I have time to answer right now. If I do any more, I'll be late for work (again). (I say again because one time a train thought it would be fun to make me late.) Anywho, as usual, if you have questions you want to me to tackle in a Q&A, you can send me them through social media using #AskSeana, or you can comment/email them to me and I'll stick them in my list of questions waiting to be answered.

That is all.

Cheers,

Seana