How To Survive High School (Eeek!)
Hello, lovelies!
High school, and just school in general, reminds me of a shark tank sometimes. You're just a little Nemo-esque fish swimming along all fishly, and then BAM SHAZAM KABLAMO you're caught in the shark's line of sight and the only thing you're thinking is how to get out of this without becoming shark bait (hoo ha ha).
I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of some nasty comments and having to deal with uncomfortable situations. I've gotten several emails this past week from readers who were struggling to figure out high school and all of the "unspoken rules and regulations", so I've decided to dedicate this post to helping those of you who have questions or who are just feeling really down about this whole school thing.
So without further ado, let's get started, shall we?
1.) Makeup, Clothes, & Self Esteem
(aka the "I feel like all my friends are pretty except me" situation)
I did make a mention of my opinion on makeup in a Q&A, but I'd just like to reinstate it here. Whether you wear makeup or not, that is your choice. If you like how you feel just waking up with a bare face, that's great! If you want to put on a little mascara before going out, that is just fine! If you want to go for a full face of makeup, then that is wonderful too! Makeup is not something that defines whether or not you are pretty. You are more than how your face looks, or whether your body fits that social "ideal".
I know there are a lot of people in their friendship groups who feel like they're the friend who just isn't as pretty. They label themselves the "ugly" friend, and feel like they're constantly trying to keep up with the pack. I've felt that way about myself before. It made me really sad to think about it, and I would find myself staring into the mirror and hating on tiny things that shouldn't even matter. Yes, there are going to be people in the world who are just deemed as "perfect" while others are labeled "flawed". We are all given labels, but that does not mean you have to just sit back and accept them. You control who you are seen as. If you ignore the labels and start being the person you want to be, that makes those labels lose their power. They only have control over you if you let them.
We all have different fashion tastes.
You might be the girl who loves wearing dresses and skirts, you might be the girl who would live in sweatpants if she could, or you might be the girl who'll just be happy if the piece of clothing is black. It doesn't matter what kind of clothing you like to wear. But don't feel like you have to wear what everyone else is wearing. There's huge crazes with cutouts in dresses and bikinis that barely cover. You do not have to wear anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, just because society says it's cool or because all of your friends are in love with the trend. Maybe you aren't comfortable showing your body that way. That's okay. You might not be ready to wear certain clothes right now, and you might not ever be comfortable to wear certain things. The most important thing is that you feel confident and own whatever you're wearing. Everything else is irrelevant.
2.) The Social Ladder
Popularity does not matter. I know that's completely backwards with everything that's being shoved at you in high school, but that's the truth. The second that you leave that school building, your status means nothing. In the real world, you're not going to get a job or get into a certain college just because you were "cool" during your senior year.
In fact, I've noticed that the more "popular" people are usually not as kind or as friendly as people who are "lower down" on the social ladder. Your stereotypical popular person really only cares about their little bubble of friends and himself or herself.
Your status is not important. It's of course important to find friends that you feel comfortable with and who you feel like you can rely on no matter what, but you shouldn't just try to merge into someone's friend group just because you want to be more popular or you want to climb a rung on the social ladder. I've found that the most precious people in my life are people who you wouldn't see as popular or at the top of the chain. They're normal, wonderful people, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Don't surround yourself with toxic people who make you feel bad about yourself. Being pressured in your friend group to do things and act a certain way is a sign that they're really not looking for your best interests at heart. Stick with people who love you for you, and I promise it will be a thousand times better than being with people who only care about your status.
3.) Relationships (dun dun dunnnnnn)
Let's talk about the love.
First things first: if you don't have any boys (or girls, if you're one of my male readers) taking interest in you or having a crush on you, that does not make you any less wonderful and amazing. I'm not the girl who has a flock of guys on each arm. I don't have trails of admirers bowing down at my feet. And I know that I'm not the prettiest thing to ever walk the earth, but that doesn't mean I need to look for worth in how many guys are interested in me or how in many cute texts I've received in a day.
It's okay if you haven't dated anyone. I know that plenty of people my age are pairing up and going on dates, and I'm still over here like:
I am in the same boat as you, my lovely friends. If you're not dating anyone, or no one seems interested in you, that is not a reflection of you. Think of it as a sign that there's someone else out there that is way better for you than that certain high school boy you think is cute. Don't let your relationship status define you, and don't try to find your value in someone else. You are your own person, and that person is awesome.
4.) Homework (uh oh!)
Keeping this one short and sweet. Just don't procrastinate. If you have a massive project and you're just feeling overwhelmed, break it up. Tackle that essay on one day, and then take care of the visual display on another day. Give yourself some time in between working on the project to relax and have a little bit of "brain-mush" time as I like to call it. Spend maybe 10 or 15 minutes out of the hour you're working to scroll through Pinterest, watch some YouTube videos, or just go have a snack.
5.) The Dreaded Cookie Cutter
As delicious and amazing that cookies are, you just gotta avoid the cookie cutter formation. I know how much pressure there is inside school and out to be a certain way and look like a certain standard. People will try to force you to fit into their mental cookie cutter ideal, but you just have to break free of it and be your own self.
I know you've probably heard it before, but everyone was made differently. You might have a talent for giving advice, while your best friend is captain of the basketball team. You might have a killer volleyball serve, while I'm great at drawing ribbons. You shouldn't be ashamed of your gifts just because they're different than someone else's. You just have to stop comparing yourself to other people, because that's what makes it hard to love you for who you are.
When I was little, I used to wear all of one color. I had this fuzzy pink sweatshirt and sweatpants combo that I adored. I wore it as much as I could, and I would also wear the identical blue version a ton as well. I look back on those days now, and I smile. Why? Because those little ensembles were something that I chose to wear, even if everyone else thought they were weird or other people were wearing more fashionable things. I'm proud of myself for staying true to things that I loved, and I want to be able to look back on my high school days and say the same thing.
Just remember that you are different and that is okay. That does not make you better or worse than someone else, and you shouldn't hate yourself for being different than other people. Being different is awesome.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Well. That was a pretty lengthy post, but I wanted to put this out there and give my two cents on these tidbits. I hope that you enjoyed this post, and that if it helped you in any way. Here's to hoping that your high school experience, or school in general, is fabulous. (:
That is all.
Love,
Seana
High school, and just school in general, reminds me of a shark tank sometimes. You're just a little Nemo-esque fish swimming along all fishly, and then BAM SHAZAM KABLAMO you're caught in the shark's line of sight and the only thing you're thinking is how to get out of this without becoming shark bait (hoo ha ha).
I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of some nasty comments and having to deal with uncomfortable situations. I've gotten several emails this past week from readers who were struggling to figure out high school and all of the "unspoken rules and regulations", so I've decided to dedicate this post to helping those of you who have questions or who are just feeling really down about this whole school thing.
So without further ado, let's get started, shall we?
1.) Makeup, Clothes, & Self Esteem
(aka the "I feel like all my friends are pretty except me" situation)
I did make a mention of my opinion on makeup in a Q&A, but I'd just like to reinstate it here. Whether you wear makeup or not, that is your choice. If you like how you feel just waking up with a bare face, that's great! If you want to put on a little mascara before going out, that is just fine! If you want to go for a full face of makeup, then that is wonderful too! Makeup is not something that defines whether or not you are pretty. You are more than how your face looks, or whether your body fits that social "ideal".
I know there are a lot of people in their friendship groups who feel like they're the friend who just isn't as pretty. They label themselves the "ugly" friend, and feel like they're constantly trying to keep up with the pack. I've felt that way about myself before. It made me really sad to think about it, and I would find myself staring into the mirror and hating on tiny things that shouldn't even matter. Yes, there are going to be people in the world who are just deemed as "perfect" while others are labeled "flawed". We are all given labels, but that does not mean you have to just sit back and accept them. You control who you are seen as. If you ignore the labels and start being the person you want to be, that makes those labels lose their power. They only have control over you if you let them.
We all have different fashion tastes.
You might be the girl who loves wearing dresses and skirts, you might be the girl who would live in sweatpants if she could, or you might be the girl who'll just be happy if the piece of clothing is black. It doesn't matter what kind of clothing you like to wear. But don't feel like you have to wear what everyone else is wearing. There's huge crazes with cutouts in dresses and bikinis that barely cover. You do not have to wear anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, just because society says it's cool or because all of your friends are in love with the trend. Maybe you aren't comfortable showing your body that way. That's okay. You might not be ready to wear certain clothes right now, and you might not ever be comfortable to wear certain things. The most important thing is that you feel confident and own whatever you're wearing. Everything else is irrelevant.
2.) The Social Ladder
Popularity does not matter. I know that's completely backwards with everything that's being shoved at you in high school, but that's the truth. The second that you leave that school building, your status means nothing. In the real world, you're not going to get a job or get into a certain college just because you were "cool" during your senior year.
In fact, I've noticed that the more "popular" people are usually not as kind or as friendly as people who are "lower down" on the social ladder. Your stereotypical popular person really only cares about their little bubble of friends and himself or herself.
Your status is not important. It's of course important to find friends that you feel comfortable with and who you feel like you can rely on no matter what, but you shouldn't just try to merge into someone's friend group just because you want to be more popular or you want to climb a rung on the social ladder. I've found that the most precious people in my life are people who you wouldn't see as popular or at the top of the chain. They're normal, wonderful people, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Don't surround yourself with toxic people who make you feel bad about yourself. Being pressured in your friend group to do things and act a certain way is a sign that they're really not looking for your best interests at heart. Stick with people who love you for you, and I promise it will be a thousand times better than being with people who only care about your status.
3.) Relationships (dun dun dunnnnnn)
Let's talk about the love.
First things first: if you don't have any boys (or girls, if you're one of my male readers) taking interest in you or having a crush on you, that does not make you any less wonderful and amazing. I'm not the girl who has a flock of guys on each arm. I don't have trails of admirers bowing down at my feet. And I know that I'm not the prettiest thing to ever walk the earth, but that doesn't mean I need to look for worth in how many guys are interested in me or how in many cute texts I've received in a day.
It's okay if you haven't dated anyone. I know that plenty of people my age are pairing up and going on dates, and I'm still over here like:
I am in the same boat as you, my lovely friends. If you're not dating anyone, or no one seems interested in you, that is not a reflection of you. Think of it as a sign that there's someone else out there that is way better for you than that certain high school boy you think is cute. Don't let your relationship status define you, and don't try to find your value in someone else. You are your own person, and that person is awesome.
4.) Homework (uh oh!)
5.) The Dreaded Cookie Cutter
As delicious and amazing that cookies are, you just gotta avoid the cookie cutter formation. I know how much pressure there is inside school and out to be a certain way and look like a certain standard. People will try to force you to fit into their mental cookie cutter ideal, but you just have to break free of it and be your own self.
I know you've probably heard it before, but everyone was made differently. You might have a talent for giving advice, while your best friend is captain of the basketball team. You might have a killer volleyball serve, while I'm great at drawing ribbons. You shouldn't be ashamed of your gifts just because they're different than someone else's. You just have to stop comparing yourself to other people, because that's what makes it hard to love you for who you are.
When I was little, I used to wear all of one color. I had this fuzzy pink sweatshirt and sweatpants combo that I adored. I wore it as much as I could, and I would also wear the identical blue version a ton as well. I look back on those days now, and I smile. Why? Because those little ensembles were something that I chose to wear, even if everyone else thought they were weird or other people were wearing more fashionable things. I'm proud of myself for staying true to things that I loved, and I want to be able to look back on my high school days and say the same thing.
Just remember that you are different and that is okay. That does not make you better or worse than someone else, and you shouldn't hate yourself for being different than other people. Being different is awesome.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Well. That was a pretty lengthy post, but I wanted to put this out there and give my two cents on these tidbits. I hope that you enjoyed this post, and that if it helped you in any way. Here's to hoping that your high school experience, or school in general, is fabulous. (:
That is all.
Love,
Seana
Aww, I wanted to write a post like this but I saved it for another day... I love what you wrote here though.
ReplyDeleteBut honestly, it feels awesome to be that mix of as nerdy as possible yet as "cool" as possible while being that nerdy. Really.
Thank you! You should definitely write a post like this sometime. I'd love to share what you have to say. (:
DeleteNerdy people are the best! I'm proud to be able to recite book quotes and geek out over things that some people wouldn't even understand. It's just so fun!
YES! I am the girl who is always wearing black.Not to the point of being goth or anything. I just have a really comfortable black sweatshirt. And several really comfortable black t-shirts. And a really comfortable pair of black socks. You get the idea. I also like really dark blue. :)
ReplyDelete~D. Skye <3
Ooh, comfy sweatshirts are amazingggg! I could live in them. Dark blue is actually one of my favorite colors too! (: It's just so majestic and pretty.
DeleteSometimes I just wanna go around and give hugs to all the sad people everywhere. It's heart breaking to see people hating on themselves, especially on social media, you know?
ReplyDeleteHmm, I'd say that the divides aren't quite as strict as Mean Girls makes it seem. Most people are a mixture of categories. The friends in my friend group are sort a nerdy/sporty/smart mixture. We definitely do have a lot of cliques, and you can usually tell by having a look around which girls think they're above everyone else, and what girls are really down to earth and friendly. It's definitely a result of American culture probably, but there isn't really rivalries between certain "groups". We're all pretty chill with each other, but there are those natural tendencies that each group has.
I was wondering when you would stop being MIA, so huzzah that you're back! (: No internet for a month, eh? Eep! My life has been going rather smoothly lately, but I can't say too much has changed in a drastic way. My little chap with the gorgeous eyes is still lovely as ever, but it seems I have some competition. I'm apparently not the only one who thinks he's been blessed by the puberty gods and has the sweetest personality ever. *sigh* However, we are on nickname basis now, so that's a step forward, isn't it? (:
What about you? Any juicy details from the life of Em?
Glad to have you back in the blogosphere!
I don't hang out in the Tumblr universe, so I mostly see it on Twitter. Twitter can be so harsh sometimes, and I've actually been told to kill myself at one point via social media. People can be just insanely cruel for stupid reasons and it's so sad.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say we have "enemies" here either, but people do a lot of behind-the-scenes hating so to speak. Most people are civil with each other regardless of how they feel, but then they just go crazy on the gossip train and try to backstab each other that way. It can be really hectic to follow. I'm pretty chill with people, and if I don't like them, then oh well! You have be kind to everyone if that's how you want people to treat you.
Haha, my elbows are ready! Kidding, kidding. (: I'm not sure how much my wing-women would be able to do. Some of my friends avoid boys like the plague, and other ones are a little boy-crazy. But they're always there to bring over ice cream and movies if I need it, so there is that.
Huzzah for you! *throws confetti and plushies* I've yet to actually complete my writings to a full novel length. *hangs head in shame* I keep getting into this rut of being bored with the story and then chasing plot bunnies. I can't help it; plot bunnies are just so much fun to chase. What is your novel about?
No guy chat, eh? That's alright. (: I'm sure someday you will summon your magical boy wooing powers and your sad violin will become a majestic thing. Until then, work that violin solo!
Ooh, those posts that make suicide seem like this glorified thing make me so angry. There are real people out there feeling real feelings that need more than a post that says suicide is okay because no one will miss you anyway. It's not okay, but people seem almost "addicted" to this twisted idea of sadness.
ReplyDeleteI think you're pretty much spot on with the age grouping. It just surprises me sometimes when I'm talking to someone and they out of nowhere turn to me and say something like, "Oh, my gosh, I hate her. She's so rude." It's usually about someone I don't know super well, but they seem like genuinely nice people when I'm chatting with them. I think sometimes people just like to hate on other people to a.) feel better about themselves, b.) to make conversation (even though the weather would be a better option), and c.) there's something weirdly black-hole-ish about gossiping. It sucks you in and well, I suppose it sucks too.
Haha, wingwomen classes! Can you imagine if I handed out fliers to my friends that said, "Meet me at 4 o'clock behind the pine trees. We need to discuss proper wingwoman protocol ASAP." I feel like my friends would just stare at me in confusion and ask me if I was feeling okay. (: Honestly, I'm so lucky to have such wonderful friends, via the blogosphere and via the . . . erm . . . real-life-osphere? (Yourself included. Much friendship.)
See, I like the bunnies a little too much to put them in bunny jail. I just let them hop around freely in my writing yard and give them pats on the head and treats before I freak out and focus again.
Ooh, fantasy! So it's a bit like the Hunger Games with the Selection idea, but instead of killing each other, it's a place to hone your skills. Interesting! Is it a dystopian fantasy? I've always wanted to try writing a revolution, but every time I try, I feel really cliche about the whole ordeal and end up writing something else instead. I do like the name Corrie, though. She sounds fierce. Picking names for characters are one of my favorite things to do when I'm starting a new short story or sometimes a drawing. There's just so many to choose from; it's so much fun.
Haha, well if you can't rock out on a violin, what can you rock out on? The piccolo just doesn't cut it. I think violins are such lovely instruments, and one of my favorite characters in the Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare plays it. *le swoon* (Ah, literary males, why can't you be real? I need a Jem of my own to hug and listen to him play his violin.)
(By the way, is that your new blog URL? First something about the north, and now something with the south? Fancy.)
Some things are just better saved for your private little diary of sadness. I mean sure, you can make things public if you just need someone to talk to about it, but I feel like people need to be very careful of what they put out there. That's why I'm so careful when blogging not to post anything that could be considered offensive or cruel.
ReplyDeleteAh, the gossip dodecagon that is far more complicated than the love triangle. Sometimes it's fun to have a harmless little gossip session about who's cute or who's heading out to the Bahamas this summer, but I feel like some people take it too far and have an all out bashing session where they destroy other people because it's "socially acceptable".
I just laughed because I had a thought of having one of these wingwoman meetings and handing out little pins shaped like wings that say, "I'm a registered wingwoman!" on them. I don't know why that idea is so funny to me. Maybe I should make it happen.
Have them grow up into big strong rabbits? Haha! I feel like this metaphor has gone out of control and we need to rein in the comment bunnies that are hopping freely. I'll get the net and my Australian accent and meet you back here in ten.
Your heroine is kicking butt! (Or rather, stabbing arms?) My MC's from my unfinished novels aren't doing much since their author is being a procrastinating munchkin, but someday I'll either get them back in action or finally take care of that plot bunny that's driving me insane. Your name system is definitely more organized then mine. I don't have certain sites I use. Sometimes I just type in "cool boy names" and see where things go from there. I usually take them off the top of my head, though, unless I want a name specific to an era, like the Victorian era or Medieval times.
I love the feeling of being a writer and just quietly giggling to myself as I set up two characters on what is essentially a blind date for them, except they don't know it's a date . . . yet. Oh, yes, I do remember blogging about Jem now. I don't remember what post it was, but he probably is very different than your Jem. Also, if you read the Infernal Devices, you should probably read the Mortal Instruments first, because they're a prequel series to it but they're amazing. I cried.