The Most Angry (And Happy) I've Ever Been

First of all, hello! Apologies for my hiatus.

Second of all, I still giggle when I read your comments to my last post. I really am a criminal mastermind sometimes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But now on to more important things. About two weeks ago, I passed my driver's test. I got in the car with the person giving the test, drove where she told me, parallel parked in some cones and nailed it. I aced that bad boy.

So I headed over to the Secretary of State's office, ready to get my license and, I don't know, go on a mini road trip or something. But when I get there, they tell me that policies have changed, and since I'm adopted, all of a sudden I need papers that I don't even know if I have before I can get my license. Well, I bawled like a baby on the way home from there, because I was just so disappointed that I wasn't going to get my license.

We'd initially thought that we didn't have or had even received the paper they wanted, so we started applying for a passport for me because that would be good enough they said. But that would've taken 3-6 weeks. Our only other option was to reapply for this paper, and that could take a year. A. Year. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

And then out of the blue, my mom found the paper they wanted in our basement in one of the bins where we keep old school crafts and papers from way back when. I was ecstatic. Instead of having to wait about a month, I thought I'd be able to get my license that day. But since the State office was closed, we waited until the next day. Well that was a few days ago this week. We brought in all the right papers and did everything we were supposed to, and yet they need to have Homeland Security verify that my papers are legal and correct. The HS is supposed to call us when things are all set, but it's been days since then.

This entire thing makes me furious. How dare they treat me like I'm some serial killer come to destroy all when I've been living in this country for my entire life save for a year. It shouldn't matter that I wasn't born here, and they shouldn't be able to refuse me a license until they can get their act together. Most of the places and people we've called have been flooded with cases like mine, and no one seems to have a really clear answer as to why people who were adopted are suddenly having their cases becoming exceptions to being able to just get licenses and other things.

I could care less that I'm Asian. My friends don't care, because it's not about where I was born or what I look like that makes friendship a thing. And yet, I can't help this underlying bitterness in me from bubbling up. I am the minority. For my entire life, I am going to have to fight ten times harder than people who are the majority race. It isn't fair, and I strongly believe that race should never be a factor in how things are run. But it's the cold, hard truth. No matter how you spin it, people are always going to be more lenient and choose people who are like them before they pick someone like me who is different than them. I tried talking to one of my friends about what it's like being a minority and having that work completely against me in getting work among other things, and she responded, "Actually you probably have the advantage because you are the minority." And I know she was trying to make me feel better, but it just isn't true. I will always have to fight and claw my way to the top, and someone else in the world who's hardly different from me on the inside is going to have it handed to them on a silver platter. It just isn't fair. If this is the land of the "free", then I want a new freedom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't make this post to start some crazy revolution. This isn't the Hunger Games. I'm just so frustrated and done with this entire thing. All I wanted was my license, and what I was handed was a hefty slab of complications and stupidity because of something as ridiculous as this. If you would, just keep me in your thoughts, and if you have any advice for keeping my chin up, please leave me a comment. It would mean the world to me. Truly.

That is all.

Cheers I suppose,
Seana

UPDATE:
I went into the sec. of state office just today (today being Friday), and I GOT MY LICENSE. FINALLY. I've been singing and running around my house like a crazy person because this is just fantabulous and I just can't handle all of the emotions right now. A thousand huzzahs and invisible teddy bears for you all because today is an amazing day.