9 Things I Don't Understand About Guys
Boys are . . . interesting.
I mean, I'm around them pretty much everyday because not only do I have brothers, but there are also guys at school. Being around guys has made me realize that there is a bunch of weird stuff they do that makes absolutely no sense to me.
It is so hard to know if a guy likes you sometimes. Because one minute this guy could be all over you, and then the next minute they're off clinging to some random person they just met. Or there's the flip side where they want to be around you constantly, text you at all hours of the day, and then you find out that they've been doing that to all of their lady friends.
Like how am I supposed to know if your little eyebrow wiggle signifies that you're being cheeky or if you're just doing that because it itches? Girls take vague flirtations and try to assume things, and guys are rarely direct when they flirt. So please, just make it easy and say, "Wow, you're pretty amazing. I like you." It would be so much easier.
2.) The Bad Boy Thing
I don't get why guys think they have to be these bad boy types and aren't allowed to show emotion. The minute I try to have a deep conversation with a guy, they completely shut down. It's like their mind cannot comprehend this weird thing that I'm trying to do. It's even more evident if they're in a group of their guy friends. Like if they're in their little circle of manliness, no emotions are allowed. I don't understand.
3.) All Them Smells (Please No More Axe)
Guys have two extremes when it comes to smell. Extreme number one is the "I haven't showered in weeks so I'm just gonna spray an entire bottle of Axe on myself and call it a day." Please don't do this. I don't get why guys think that a bottle of smell is going to fix their body odor. It doesn't. The other extreme is that they just haven't showered and they don't even bother with the Axe. This is almost worse because gross boy smell is one of the nastiest things ever. Walking behind someone who doesn't smell pleasant is definitely not my favorite thing to do on a weekday.
Please, guys, save us from gross boy smell. A guy who smells good is one of the most attractive things ever. Smelling nice is a win-win for you, so put the Axe down and find some nicer smelling stuff.
4.) The "Swag" Walk
I don't get it either.
5.) Ab Shots
Why do guys post mirror selfies on Instagram of their abs? Not only abs, but they also pair the ab shot with their face looking like they're squinting trying to read font size one in super bright sunlight. Is this supposed to be attractive? These kinds of pictures kind of make you look the opposite. Sorry to spoil your collection of ab shots.
6.) The Hair Flick
I'm pretty sure there are some guys who take their hair more seriously than girls do. And there are two different types of guys when it comes to hair. There's the group with the super long fringe in the front (like this Bieber gif of the past). These guys are constantly fussing with their hair, flicking it to the side so that it looks like it's windblown and luscious. Why even have your hair that long if you're constantly shoving it to the side?
7.) Fashion Choices
Please pull your pants up. Love, the world.
8.) Flexing. (Do you honestly think your biceps are going to make me love you?)
Going along with the ab shot pictures, why do guys think it's necessary to show their flexing muscles to the world. They'll go as far as to post gym pictures and bicep shots. Sure, a guy who's fit is pretty attractive, but I feel like once you've reached the point where you feel it's mandatory to send bicep pictures to your friends, it's gone down a weird path. Your muscles are not going to make me love you. Personality amongst other things does that, 'kay? Muscleheads aren't cute.
9.) Sleepovers?
I'm just straight up curious about this one. Do guys even have sleepovers? I'm sure they don't do the whole gossiping about boys, watching chick flicks, and doing girly things, but do they even do sleepover things? Do they just sit there and discuss manly things like football? Do they eat their bodyweight in food? Do they talk about girls? Someone explain this mystery to me.
* * *
Well.
Those are just 9 things that I don't understand about boys. Is there things that boys do that confuse you? Comment them down below! Also, if any of my male readers care to clear up any of this craziness in a comment, I would be most grateful.
That is all.
Cheers,
Sea
Okay, so Destiny is definitely going to read this, and definitely going to laugh, because yeah. This is a hard topic— it always is. Do I have answers to all these excellent points? Absolutely not.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I'm just going to agree with you absolutely everywhere. All of these points are valid. I've seen examples of them all the time, and occasionally enacted a couple (but not all, so I don't have personal experience, unfortunately). A couple are completely me, and the rest are completely opposite from me, so we'll see how this turns out.
1. Flirting! This one has always been a question for me, because I'd rather be blunt than gorgeously facetious. Goodness, people are pretty. Why can't people just say so? But because of gender stereotypes and making people uncomfortable, we can't. So we have flirting. I'll get to your actual point in a moment, but let me have this rabbit trail: insulting someone is not flirting. "Oh, I'm insulting them so much that they know it's obviously a compliment, because all girls have unshakable self-esteem—" Just no. I joke with people, but I joke nicely. I think I might be the worst 'bad boy' ever, if I ever tried to be.
Now, you mentioned wishy-washy clinginess vs. in-depth conversations with everyone. Personally, I have in-depth conversations with friends. That's how I identify it. I don't flirt, I make friends. Over the past year, I've made more male friends than female friends, unfortunately, because I imagined making friends might be construed as flirting— well, it might be construed that way. I'm still going to make friends, and their gender doesn't really matter to me. So perhaps I'm just the worst person to ask about flirting, because I think kindness is a turn-on and the best thing ever is the friendzone. Yay romance!
2. The bad boy thing. I think this is mostly a product of the first point, that guys don't want anything to be construed as flirting unless they're actually trying to flirt, so they just... do nothing. Personally, I'm a spaz. I'll joke with emotionless, empty gazes into the middle distance, but I'm as weird around girls as I am around guys. So you know. This doesn't really apply to me either, and I'm kind of confused by it as well.
3. BO. You'll get no excuses from me. Just like I think being nice makes friends, I kind of enjoy being presentable as well. But then, I'm homeschooled and don't have to worry about the rush of actually seeing people in real life. But generally, if I don't have time to make myself presentable, I don't present myself.
4. Swag walk? No idea. I hope I don't do that. Pfft, moving on.
5. Ab shots. Okay, shameless admission time (as if the rest of this was easy-peasy), I love my body. Like, I adore it. It's got quirks, but it works like a dream and keeps me alive. And I like to see it looking as fine as possible, so will I flex in front of a mirror? (I said shameless, I am shameless.) Of course. This also goes with 8, biceps. I love my arms. I love my legs. I love my lips! Obscure references aside, I love seeing my body as perfect as possible, but I don't assume anyone else does. So, if I'm flexing in public, I'm admiring myself, not asking you to admire me. You'll never see an ab shot from me.
(This comment was so big I had to split it into two parts. Sorry about that. But hey, more comments, amirite?)
6. Hair! If Destiny hasn't been laughing already, she'll start now, and she'll back me up on this hard. I love my hair, too. (I love myself probably way too much, but I also love everyone else, so it kind of evens out.) My hair is awesome. I have nothing to say in defense of long bangs on boys, at all, because short hair is better, but fixing one's hair is perfectly fine. Most boys just have less of it to worry about than most girls. Personally, though, I prefer fixing my hair by some method other than whipping your head to the side and possibly smashing someone's skull in. You know, keep it safe.
Delete7. Fashion. Wholehearted agreement about pants. Personally, I prefer cravats, so I'm probably not the customer service representative for this particular issue.
9, because I already did 8. Sleepovers? Ha. So here's the thing. These days, it's getting more and more common that a guy will like a guy. That's a fact, whether you agree with it or not. But when it was unthinkable for guys to like guys, guys still avoided sleepovers. They still avoided hugging. They still avoided looking like they enjoyed each other. The world's default is still straight, at this point— if you see two guys hugging, you think friends, you don't think partners. Yet, in wrestling, in sleepovers, in anything that involves two men touching, OH NO GET AWAY ALL THE GIRLS WILL THINK WE'RE INVOLVED.
This is one of the stupidest things guys do, honestly. So, no, we don't have sleepovers, because people might think we're (gasp!) more than just friends. But when you head off to college, guess what? You're going to have a roommate. It's probably going to be a male roommate. Does everyone think you're involved? No! You're roommates. Basically, no one these days is confident in themselves, which is sad.
But sure, sleepovers happen when it's really practical to do so. I mentioned roommate situations, but also travel situations where you're traveling with another family, or staying with one for a night. But never just as an, I'm bored let's do a sleepover and paint each other's toenails!!1! kind of thing.
And this was once again maybe longer than the post. Sorry about that. But as you can see, I have a lot of thoughts on this. I really hate gender stereotypes and wish they wouldn't exist, and wish boys would get their acts together. I'm basically in the business these days of picking up all the pieces they left behind. It's frustrating. But it also means that among all the insulting, insensitive guys who pet rabbits and wear beanies to show that they actually are sensitive, I get to be nice and people notice it. It's kind of fun.
This comment is enormous. I'm so sorry. (Knowing that I had to split it in two, this is even worse. But still, more comments!)
Haha, your dual comment segments here are gold. Kindness is for sure a turn-on, and so is being funny. Guys who are funny are seriously attractive. I do find the fact that you flex nonstop to be pretty amusing. There's nothing wrong with liking your body because you feel good about yourself, but it does become a little uncomfortable when people shove their abs all over social media.
DeleteOh. I do understand the concern with male sleepovers now. But honestly, if a bunch of guys just want to hang out and do manly things, no one should stop them. Especially not some stupid stereotypes made up by society.
(I really hope your sister stops by your comment thread now. I want to see her reaction to your amazing novel of a comment.)
I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG IT HAS TAKEN ME TO COMMENT ON THIS POST. I know you only posted it yesterday and now it's tomorrow, but it feels like a long time. Anywhoozles...
DeleteWell Liam, that was a lengthy comment. Am I going to have one twice as long just to upstage you? Haha, no. But yeah, here I go.
1. Flirting. WHAT EVEN?!?!?! Don't ask me about it. I'm pretty much as clueless as Liam is. But kindness is totally a turn-on. I accept compliments. I might even return them. If you like my hair, you like my hair. If I like your shoes, I like your shoes. So what? Just be nice. Say what you want to say/Just let the words fall out/Honestly/I want to see you be brave. :)
Humor is a turn-on too. But not mean humor. Even bad puns are attractive. Occasionally...BUT NOT LIAM'S PUNS.
2. Bad boys. Girls like deep conversations! Get that into your heads.
3. Girls also like presentable guys. 'Nuff said.
4. Liam--I kind of have to say this...you don't swag walk, but you do strut. Ahem. Moving on.
5. Going to do five and eight in a shot. Liam goes so far as to kiss his biceps in public. They are pretty impressive, but really? But mostly, girls want to see a guy's pretty face. Not much else.
6. I have to admit. Liam has great hair. So do a lot of his friends. I think Liam and his friends obsess over their hair more than my friends and I do. That's kind of sad but it's true. And short hair is better. As long as I can reach up and ruffle it, I'm good.
7. I said it all in number 3.
9. DOWN WITH GENDER STEREOTYPES. Eat food. Talk about girls. Play video games. Do what guys do. I won't judge.
Good post Sea. :)
~D. Skye <3
I ALSO SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THE CAPITAL LETTERS I USED IN THAT COMMENT. Whoops...:)
Delete~D. Skye <3
*sigh* Destiny is correct. In my defense, however, I only kiss/flaunt my muscular prowess in jest. I admit I'm impressive, and my arms could rival a small oak for circumference, but I'm on the wiry side. I do flex all the time, because I enjoy seeing myself being awesome, but when I go over the top, it's carefully calculated for joking. But ANYWAY.
DeleteOoh, cool, I have great hair. I knew that.
Saying DOWN WITH GENDER STEREOTYPES and following it with "do what guys do" is kind of strengthening gender stereotypes. The point is that there isn't any category of fun activities that make any gender that gender. Such as sleepovers— they aren't a girl thing or a guy thing. They're fun no matter what gender you are. But anyway.
Oh, almost forgot. I strut? No, I walk with my back straight. It's called good posture. Unless you're talking about when I exaggerate my walk for the purpose of a joke. (Honestly, I will do anything for the sake of a joke, especially if it only demeans me.) But the point stands: walk with your head high and your shoulders back. Doesn't matter if everyone's looking at you, or people are insulting you, or if it's raining. It's like putting on makeup, except without having to pay for it. Posture is not a strut.
Maybe she was talking about something else, but yes.
*chokes* You kiss your biceps in public? Dear gosh, at least it's jokingly, but still, that's kind of hilarious. I actually pictured you as more of the skinny, non-athletic type. My subconscious was not jumping to the conclusion that you have arms that "could rival a small oak for circumference". Sorry.
DeleteSo I've learned from you two that basically Liam has a big head about his big muscles, and he struts. I feel like my mind has been completely blown because like I mentioned earlier in this comment, I never pictured Liam as a jock-type. This is a revelation. A weird, slightly uncomfortable revelation.
*chokes on laughter from this whole thing*
Delete~The Unstoppable Child
I was thinking very small oaks. Like, saplings. I mean, they're muscles, but they aren't enormous. Definitely not jock-type. I'm on the smaller side, too, so that makes the flaunting funnier.
DeleteDefinitely not jock-type. Des will back me up on that. Fit? Yes. Herculean? Pfft.
Riiiight, of course you were thinking of small oaks, Muscle/Jock Boy. That's what they all say.
Delete*actually was thinking small sapling-oaks* One does not simply describe the Head Phil as Herculean.
Delete~TUC
This post and comment thread are the best thing I've read on the Internet today.
DeleteGlad it makes people happy instead of uncomfortable. I'm just gonna apologize for how awkward all of this is... This is the real reason people don't talk about this stuff candidly.
DeleteIt's actually not that awkward (at least on my end, though I'm sure I'm blushing through some of it). It helps that no one can see anyone else's face as we're talking about this (except maybe you and Destiny, but that's different).
Delete~TUC
Sea, Liam has a big head about everything. That's why he struts. (Yes, my dear brother, you do strut. I'll point it out next time I see it. And don't you lecture me on posture. I know I slouch.)
DeleteLiam is definitely not a jock. But neither is he unathletic. He's kind of like little Steve Rodgers with Captain America's muscles. Ooookay, that's a weird image...I apologize. I am going to stop now....
~D. Skye <3
Well, that's a fun description.
DeleteHow about just Chris Evans? Is that a good description?
Delete~TUC
Liam--You're welcome. :)
DeleteTUC--Chris Evans would fit, but Liam isn't that tall, nor is he quite so...broad. That's where little Steve Rodgers comes in.
~D. Skye <3
Ah.
DeleteI can see how the previous description would fit now. Sort of.
~TUC
Wow. There are things in this list that I've wondered that I didn't even know I wondered...
ReplyDelete(And right here, I'm just going to say thanks for clearing stuff up a bit, Liam, and kindness actually is a turn-on.)
Everything in this post... though, admittedly, there are some things I've never seen before and now you have scarred me for life. (thanks a lot, Sea...) :P
THE FLIRTING THING. Now, I have precious little experience with guys flirting with me. But too many times have I wondered if someone was flirting. So, yeah.
Note on the sleepover thing. Some guys do have sleepovers. Or at least they did... don't know if they still would now (thinking of specific guys I know here) but there was a point in their lives when they did.
So... I guess that's it from me. Dinky little comment right next to that blog post Liam wrote... but he's probably better about writing on this topic than I am. :P
~The Unstoppable Child
Having male readers is definitely a plus when it comes to having my man questions answered. (Also, sorry for scarring you, haha!)
DeleteTo be fair, I've been told that girls are almost impossible to understand with the flirting as well. Guy friends of mine have actually asked me for advice when it comes to this kind of thing.
Haha, well, we can't all be Liam when it comes to commenting. I appreciate your efforts, TUC. (:
I also know precious little about flirting myself. Good thing I've never found flirting necessary... back to the fact that kindness is a turn-on.
DeleteOf course not. One Awesomeness Incarnate, though much appreciated and enjoyed, is enough.
Thank you, Sea. Sometimes I wonder if dinky comments are worth the commenting. Glad to know that they are appreciated. :)
~The Unstoppable Child
Hey, a dinky comment is still a comment. And if it's a dinky TUC comment, I'm a fan because you're kind of the coolest. (:
DeleteAWWW! <3
DeleteI hereby nominate you for the title of Sweetest Girl Ever. (Problem is... I know at least two other really sweet girls, so you all might have to share the title. XD)
~TUC
We can make an exclusive club of Sweetness and eat lots of sweet food. (You can join of course.) Oh, wait, I'm more of a fan of salty foods than sweet, so that might not be the best club to join.
DeleteBoth sweet and salty! I personally like my chocolate a little salty.
Delete~TUC
UNWASHED + AFTERSHAVE IS NOT AN ATTRACTIVE SMELL
ReplyDeletelove, every girl ever.
Ugh.
I also wonder about the sleepover thing. Last male friend I asked told me that guys don't ever tell each other anything. But I feel that this is probably not 100% factual ...
Guys who smell good win at life.
DeleteOh, come on, I'm sure guys have gossip sessions. (Of course they're not gonna call them gossip sessions, but hey.)
Swag Walk gif. That is all.
ReplyDeleteActually no, that's not all, I cracked up so hard over this post. I can relate so much. lol.
Incidentally, thank you, Liam for your insights.
I snortled at the comments too. XD
Haha, it was the closest thing I could find to an actual swag walk. (:
DeleteThis post cracks me up. Here's my two cents on this topic:
ReplyDelete1. To my knowledge, I have only been flirted with/told I was cute once. Here is what I got out of that experience: NEVER EVER tell someone you've only just met and FB messaged a couple times that you think they are cute OVER AN FB MESSAGE. Yeah. Have no interest in that happening again. (If Katie/Robyn reads this, she can verify my thoughts on the matter, as she received an all caps SOS email while that was going down.) Honestly, part of me is afraid of being flirted with, because I don't want a boyfriend, and while I appreciate compliments, I don't want to be looked at as a potential romantic interest. I don't need more drama in my life.
Okay, so that derailed pretty quickly. Moving on...
2. The bad boy thing....just no.
3. I actually have very little experience with guys and smells, though I do notice when they smell better than I do.
4. I have never seen the swag walk, either.
5. I AM SO TIRED OF SHELVING BOOKS WITH SHIRTLESS MEN ON THE COVER I MEAN COME ON. Honestly the number of Harlequin romances I've shelved with shirtless men has completely turned me off the buff type (buff and muscle-y was never my type to begin with, but now it really isn't.) Okay, library book shelver rant = over. Sorry.
6. I...actually don't really pay attention to guys' hair unless it's longer/prettier than mine.
7. Pants are meant to fully cover bums. 'Nough said.
8. Again, the buff type is not my thing. Flexing is something I generally roll my eyes at.
9. I'm fairly certain my friend's brother has had sleepovers at a friend's house. I think they tend to make stuff with duct tape or have Nerf gun wars.
And I'm going to second that being kind and funny is attractive. This is why all of my friends, no matter what gender, are kind and funny.
So, there's my thoughts on the matter. Great post, Sea.
This is Katie/Robyn and I verify Lily's claim of sending said panicked email.
Delete~The Unstoppable Child