Death By A Mutant Toaster Gone Haywire

Seana sighed and leaned back into her comfy armchair in the corner, getting ready for a nice hour or so of reading a lovely book she had not read in the past. She sat there peacefully, in total bliss because it was a very good book indeed.

There was a knock at her door.

Squinching up her nose in disgust at being bothered right at the part when the giant squid who was really an English gentlemen accidentally swallowed a girl because he thought she was a sack of parsnips, she heaved another sigh and headed to the said door.

There was another knock at her door, a more impatient one, followed by two claps and the sound of clogging.

She opened the door, and just as she was about to say, "Greetings, how may I help you?" she was attacked by a rather large toaster that had blinking little Christmas lights scattered amongst the corners of it. Seana shrieked (something she didn't do very often since it hurt her vocal chords) as it flung itself into her face. The only thing she could think was, I'm going to die. It'll be death by mutant toaster gone haywire.

But she didn't die. Instead, the toaster regally lifted itself up and announced, in a voice that had a mix of an Australian and a British accent combined, "Seana J. Vixen, you have been nominated for the 'One Lovely Blog' award by Liam, Head Phil."

Seana blinked in confusion that a) the mutant toaster gone haywire could speak, and b) that she had gotten an award. Seana was a pretty average child, slightly insane perhaps, and she normally didn't receive that many awards, so this was a surprise. She pulled the look of confusion off her face like a piece of a mud-mask as the mutant toaster gone haywire spoke again with its unique accent (that Seana was suddenly very jealous of.)

"The rules are as follow: You have to thank the person who nominatd you on their blog to receive your honor. You have to tell 7 things about yourself and human canoe counts! You have to nominate 15 blogs, and tell them of their nomination!" And with a curt bow, the mutant toaster gone haywire skipped away, humming a tune from "Skip to My Lou" and clogging down the driveway.

"Hey, wait!" Seana called, racing after the toaster who had recently won an award for "Fastest Clogging Toaster" last week, and, therefore, was mighty hard to catch up with.

The toaster paused, and Seana leaned in and whispered it her plan, hoping that the little lever on the side was its ear. Even if it was not, the toaster seemed to understand because it wriggled with glee at her plan and let out a laugh that sounded like it came from a strangled hyena.

So as you can see, I suppose since the mutant toaster gone haywire did NOT kill me, I shall have to tell you 7 things about little ol' me and thank the one who nominated this to me. Here we go. If you suddenly feel sick with boredom halfway through, the exit is to your left, and please take care not to scare the unicorns on your way out. Thank you.

Ahem.

Thank you's and friendly high-fives to Liam, Head Phil for nominating this mutant paper to me. Liam is an excellent writer, and you all should check out his blog when you find time and there's not mutant papers chasing you as well.

1. I can only fall going upstairs. No matter what I do (carry a stack of fine china dishes, play the kazoo while riding a unicycle...), I cannot fall going downstairs. It's quite odd. (I suppose you could push me down the stairs, but that wouldn't really be of my own accord, and therefore, wouldn't count.)

2. I can move my pinkie toe independently. It's true. I can move my littlest toe all by itself without any of the others trying to copy it because they're jealous. I can do it on both feet as well. *wiggles toes* It's really quite amusing.

3. I'm nearsighted, so this means I have the curse of glasses set upon me. I can never get the things to stay clean for long, nor can I avoid nearly squashing them with a stack of books or my own self. Lovely.

4. I once wore all pink. Mhmm. Pink shirt, pink skirt, pink tights, pink platform shoes, pink headband, pink earrings, pink bracelets, pink necklace, AND pink braces rubber bands! Boo-yah! It was actually really an eyesore, being as the pinks where all the same shade, and no variation to make it tolerable. I will never do that again as long as I have some life in me and my hearts still beating.

5. I really can never think of enough things to fill up one of these kinds of lists, so I usually have to say so during one of the numbers, like I am now.

6. I often crack my toe knuckles. Yes, I realize this is Toe Fact #2, but it's a fact, so I'll use it to my advantage. Bwa ha ha... When I do crack them, it's really loud. I thoroughly enjoy doing it during an awkward silence to make it even more awkward. Hehe.

7. My favorite name is Genevieve. Not sure why, but it is. I just find it really elegant and lovely sounding. Of course, I wouldn't want it for my name, oh no, because it is really long and would take forever to write if you had to sign your name to become the guardian of a hippopotamus.

And now....

It is time....

TO SIC THE MUTANT TOASTER GONE HAYWIRE ON SOME VICTIMS! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA.... etc.

Ahem.

Awards to:

July A. Emmance

Bookworm/Future Author

Books, Books Everywhere!

Writing Fire

Everything Hermione

Un arc-en Vintage

Book Blog :D

And I shall stop at 7, because a) it's a lovely number, don't you think? and b) I can't even think of any more, which is sad...am I really that forgetful?! D:

<3 Sea

Look out if you see a mutant toaster gone haywire clogging towards you. Make haste if you do.

The toaster was having a hard time finding everyone on Seana's list, but eventually it found all of them and clogged home singing some more songs from its childhood that brought back happy memories of its pet komodo dragon.