What Have I Gotten Myself Into

No.

No, no, no, no. This can't be happening; what have I gotten myself into.

(Get ahold of yourself, Seana, this is no time for panicking. *panics anyway*)

You may or may not know that I play tennis. I'm going to put it out there right now that I'm not the best tennis player there is. I'm average-ish. And being the idiot that I am, I decided that I'm going to try out for the varsity team (stupid decision, really). Taking a look at the list of other high schoolers trying out for varsity make my blood run cold because I realized that all of these people were insanely good. Some of them were my friends, but the upperclassmen I knew where amazing because I'd seen them play.

I'd signed up to try out for varsity knowing that I probably wouldn't make it, but now I'm just worried I'll make a fool of myself. My pride's not a huge fan of the whole embarrassing myself thing, and I just have this competitive streak in me that hates facing defeat. (I'm not a sore loser, but there is something depressing about losing badly or having an off day which results in not being at your best.)

Part of me wants nothing to do with the try-outs. I know my limits of skill and I know how good I am at certain aspects of tennis. I know that I'm not up to par with some of the other upperclassmen (and even the girls in my grade) in terms of skill, partially because I've never taken private lessons like they have, and partially because I haven't practiced as much as they probably have.

Part of me is terrified. Scared stiff. Panicking. Running around my house with no purpose and then laying on the floor staring at the ceiling because it's the only thing that slightly calms me down.

And another part of me is trying to give the other parts of me a wake-up call that I need to just calm down and see how it all plays out, even though there's a high chance of me making a fool of myself and not making varsity. (I don't even know if I want to make varsity. I'm that petrified.)

So if you all could keep me in mind and in your prayers during the month of March when try-outs will start rolling around, that would be wonderful. Knowing you guys have my back would really help me out. Thanks in advance! I'll let you know how the making a fool of myself process goes.

That is all.

Cheers,
A panicking, sweaty-palmed Seana

Comments

  1. Good luck!
    If I tried out for tennis I'd probably end up knocking a few people out with the tennis ball, so I try to distance myself as much as possible from sports..

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    1. Haha, I have zero foot coordination, so soccer's definitely not my thing. (:

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  2. At least it's the right gender this time! ;)

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  3. Wow...
    Good luck!! I play badminton (I surprisingly stink at tennis though) so I know how you feel...

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    1. Thank you! I love badminton, too, although a birdie flying towards your face is a lot less scary than a tennis ball coming for you, I've learned. (:

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  4. Good luck! Just have fun and you'll probably learn a lot from both try outs and playing with older girls if you do make it.
    I play basketball and I feel the same way sometimes. Most of the girls on the team are older and better than me. All of them are so supportive and nobody is judgemental. We all learn together and have fun together.
    I hope you do well and I'll be thinking of you!

    ~D. Skye<3

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment! It's helping me get off of the panic attack and I'm a little more relaxed now. (: Thanks for your support!

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    2. You're welcome!

      ~D .Skye <3

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    3. I'll just try my hardest and hope for the best. (:

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