Stop Eating That Papaya Parfait and Go Build A Time Machine!

Are you feeling bored today? So bored you would rather burrow into boiling lava in search of the rare albino armadillo's golden gooseberry treasure? Then listen closely.

Pick a friend whom you think has too much time on their hands and really should do something other than sitting around on the sofa and gorging themselves on papaya parfaits while trying to level up their Pokemon. (Because, really, if you eat too much papaya parfaits, the end result will probably be rather dismal, and your poor little rat thing won't evolve. How tragic.)

Now then. You and your friend will need to find clothes from an era of your choosing. Want to look like a caveman? Go for it. Want to wear those ridiculous leg-warmer things and those warm-up suits? Sure! Just make sure that you and your friend dress like you're from the same time period as each other. It would not make sense to have a person in a saber-toothed tiger hide hanging out with someone in a powdered wig, no?

Since you are both now looking lovely in your new outfits, now it's time for the fun part.

Go walk down a busy street, and don't pay any attention to those strange looks people are shooting your way. They're just jealous.

Find someone who's minding their own business, and walk up to them, putting on your best red-carpet smile. Now then, this is the hard part. BE POLITE. None of that rude goop, and for heaven's sake, cavemen do not use turbo-powered squirt guns that really shoot out kidney beans! Alright. You are being polite, yes? Good. So ask this person, "What year is this?" You will most likely be met with a blank stare that either means you were talking to a) a mannequin, b) a really high-tec robot that even smells like a real person, or c) a regular person who just thinks you're weird.

More often than not, this person will tell you the correct year***. At this point you must either slap your friend a high five or squish them in a hippo-size hug and yell, "Yes! YESSSS! The time machine worked! SUCCESSSSS!" and run down the street while spewing more elated exclamations on the way. (Stretching out the s-sound always makes things seem more creepy, so you may as well do it.)

***Ah, you noticed those little star things, eh? Good for you. The other side of this is that if the person does not give you the answer you desire or they dash away screaming something about Martians invading Earth who don't know what year it is, simply move on to a different person. If the scenario is repeated, just find someone else. It's not too hard. Unless of course you really are wearing a saber-tooth tiger hide and it doesn't smell like roses to the onlookers. It could also be the fact that you still did not ditch that kidney bean squirt gun and people don't want to end up as a walking bean dip. You be the judge of that.

That is all.

<3 Seana