How To Look Crazy In Public
I know, I know, you've all been wanting to look like a complete nutcase in the public for a while now. One can only stand so much normality. I have a few different things you can do to solve this problem. Please rest assured that there are plenty more things for you to do to look absurd.
Gatorade in a Windex Bottle
Grab one of those Windex bottles you've got lying around that are empty, but you were too lazy to stick in the recycling bin. Make sure that you give the bottle a good scrubbing so that any tiny traces of the cleaner no longer remain (if you skip that step, you might end up with a mouthful of cleaner. Next, find a bottle of blue Gatorade. Blue because it matches the color of the former Windex. Pour the Gatorade into the Windex bottle and head out into a public place. Walk boldly, swing your arms, wear a fuzzy cape if you choose to. The idea is that you stand around chatting like a normal person before saying, "Gee, I'm seriously thirsty. Hang on a sec..I think I have something..." Then VOILA! Whip out your Gatorade-filled Windex bottle, unscrew the top (or leave the squirty thing on there if you want it to be more amusing) and take a big swig (spray) of the stuff. The people around you should** look at you like a crazy person. Mission accomplished.
**If they do not look at you like a crazy person, clear your throat a few times, subtly point at the bottle, and take a few more sips. They'll notice after a few rounds of this.
Vanilla Pudding in a Mayonnaise Jar
Same idea as the Gatorade in a Windex bottle prank. Get an empty mayonnaise jar and clean any leftover residue of mayo out of there with a scrubbing tool. Once it's nice and clean, find a few containers of vanilla pudding and scoop them into the jar. Once again, head out into a public place where you're sure to be seen (i.e. not your broom closet). Perhaps this time you should wear a pair of fuzzy mittens to switch it up. Take some friends along who are not in on your scheme and start chatting with them. After a while say, "Gee, I'm seriously hungry. Hang on a sec...I think I have something..." Then VOILA! Whip out your pudding-filled mayo jar and shove your finger, hand, or face into it, taking a nice big mouthful. The reaction on your friend's and peer's faces will be priceless.
Mike & Ike's in a Pill Container
As a final way to look like a lunatic to the citizens of your city, grab a box of Mike & Ike's and put them into an empty pill container. Once more, see if you can find some people who will have no idea what you're doing. Wear your zombie face paint and begin a normal conversation. Then, suddenly say, "Gee, I'm seriously hungry...again. Hang on a mo'...I think I have something...." And then, VOILA! Whip out your pill container and just start chugging those Mike & Ike's like it's your job. All passerby will probably think you're mental, a little scrambled in your attic, slightly insane. That's the point. Give yourself a hearty pat on the back if you succeed in being given bug-eyed stares.
Well there you go. If people thought you were a completely normal human being, do these three tricks and they'll think that you've gone crazy. Tell these tips to your friends, do them together if you want. By all means, do a Windex flash mob if you want to!
That is all.
<3 Seana
Gatorade in a Windex Bottle
Grab one of those Windex bottles you've got lying around that are empty, but you were too lazy to stick in the recycling bin. Make sure that you give the bottle a good scrubbing so that any tiny traces of the cleaner no longer remain (if you skip that step, you might end up with a mouthful of cleaner. Next, find a bottle of blue Gatorade. Blue because it matches the color of the former Windex. Pour the Gatorade into the Windex bottle and head out into a public place. Walk boldly, swing your arms, wear a fuzzy cape if you choose to. The idea is that you stand around chatting like a normal person before saying, "Gee, I'm seriously thirsty. Hang on a sec..I think I have something..." Then VOILA! Whip out your Gatorade-filled Windex bottle, unscrew the top (or leave the squirty thing on there if you want it to be more amusing) and take a big swig (spray) of the stuff. The people around you should** look at you like a crazy person. Mission accomplished.
**If they do not look at you like a crazy person, clear your throat a few times, subtly point at the bottle, and take a few more sips. They'll notice after a few rounds of this.
Vanilla Pudding in a Mayonnaise Jar
Same idea as the Gatorade in a Windex bottle prank. Get an empty mayonnaise jar and clean any leftover residue of mayo out of there with a scrubbing tool. Once it's nice and clean, find a few containers of vanilla pudding and scoop them into the jar. Once again, head out into a public place where you're sure to be seen (i.e. not your broom closet). Perhaps this time you should wear a pair of fuzzy mittens to switch it up. Take some friends along who are not in on your scheme and start chatting with them. After a while say, "Gee, I'm seriously hungry. Hang on a sec...I think I have something..." Then VOILA! Whip out your pudding-filled mayo jar and shove your finger, hand, or face into it, taking a nice big mouthful. The reaction on your friend's and peer's faces will be priceless.
Mike & Ike's in a Pill Container
As a final way to look like a lunatic to the citizens of your city, grab a box of Mike & Ike's and put them into an empty pill container. Once more, see if you can find some people who will have no idea what you're doing. Wear your zombie face paint and begin a normal conversation. Then, suddenly say, "Gee, I'm seriously hungry...again. Hang on a mo'...I think I have something...." And then, VOILA! Whip out your pill container and just start chugging those Mike & Ike's like it's your job. All passerby will probably think you're mental, a little scrambled in your attic, slightly insane. That's the point. Give yourself a hearty pat on the back if you succeed in being given bug-eyed stares.
Well there you go. If people thought you were a completely normal human being, do these three tricks and they'll think that you've gone crazy. Tell these tips to your friends, do them together if you want. By all means, do a Windex flash mob if you want to!
That is all.
<3 Seana
Niiiiiice. I'd rather do this: wait for a complete stranger to approach me when I'm all alone and say, in shock, "You can see me?"
ReplyDeleteBahaha, that's awesome.
DeleteQuite funny!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to do the Mike & Ike's one.
~D. Skye <3
Let me know how it goes! :P
DeleteI will.
DeleteThe only thing though, it might not be a good idea to do any of these things in the presence of small children as it might give them the wrong idea.
~D. Skye <3
Indeed. Can't have little kiddies thinking that Windex is edible!
DeleteExcellent! I have no idea what "Mike & Ike's" are (American, I suppose), but I love the mayo trick!
ReplyDeleteMike & Ikes are candies that sort of have a jellybean texture and are the shape of pills. xD.
DeleteThe thing I usually do to get strange looks? Start talking about something random. Like, really random. INSANELY random. I pretend the other person/people should know exactly what I'm talking about and that works even better. That gets me lots of interesting looks. xD Oh, and dramatically acting out "falling off a chair laughing" works, too! ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha, I have much experience with being random. I once started walking around hollering, "I know the Muffin Man!"
DeleteThat Mike & Ike's one is GENIOUS! People would probably think you're addicted... but the colors would throw them off a bit...
ReplyDeleteEheheh, that's a little problem I'd forgotten about. Oh well. Just say that they're a foreign medicine.
DeleteRight..... foreign...
DeleteI still think they're a dead giveaway...
What other candy is shaped like a pill? Oh Tic Tacs! Those could work, but you'd have to get a duller color of them.
Tic Tacs...just...yes...
Delete