And The Winner Is...

Well.

It was insane to try and pick a winner out of the entries I received. They were all really fun spoofs of fairytales, and I was laughing through them all. So I just want to give a huge thank you to everyone who entered and made me laugh like a maniac.

As much as I'd like to announce that everyone won the contest, it would be rather hard to have that many people do guest posts for me. There were entries that spoofed Little Red Riding Hood, Beauty and the Beast, The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and so on and so on. (If I mentioned them all, we'd be here a while.)

So, without further ado, I shall announce the winner.

Ready?

The winner of the first-ever Totally Insane Writer Fairytale Spoof Contest is..........

HERMIONE!

Hermione has a blog titled Everything Hermione, so check it out sometime.

And here is her lovely entry.

The Boy Who Cried Snurplegurt

“Snurplegurt. Snurplegurt! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SNURPLEGURT!” The young boys cries echoed throughout the town in the early morning. Townsfolk groaned in their beds and covered their ears with pillows. One angry villager poked his head out of the window to see a young boy striding across the rode, yelling “snurplegurt” as he went.

“Oi!” The villager yelled, shaking his fist angrily at the child. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The boy stopped his yelling and looked at the man, his eyes wide with supposed innocence. “Sir, there’s a large snurplegurt heading this way! I was trying to warn you.”

“And just what is a bloody snurplegurt?”

“You’ve never heard of a snurplegurt?” The boy asked in disbelief. He let out a laugh that made it sound as though he couldn’t imagine such a thing. “A snurplegurt is a 10-foot-tall wolf-like creature, with a long golden horn sticking out of the top of its head. It has a tail of fire, and eyes of ice. It has a growl that sounds like the crackle of a fire, and a howl that sounds like a werewolf’s. It’s extremely dangerous.”

By now, many had gathered in the street, worried by the boy’s tale. They talked amongst themselves nervously.

“Snurplegurt?”

“Extremely dangerous?”

“We must prepare ourselves!”

“Let’s hunt it down!”

“Grab your pitchforks!”

“Light your torches!”

 “We’ve got an angry mob to form!”

Pretty soon, their cries joined in with the child’s. “Snurplegurt! Snurplegurt! Watch out for the snurplegurt!” The boy chuckled to himself as he led the mob of villagers to the edge of town, where the “snurplegurt” was supposed to be. He tried to hold in his laughter upon seeing the puzzled looks of the villagers when they reached the edge of town and there was no so-called snurplegurt.

“Ah, he must have run off. What rotten luck.”

After several mutters of “I got out of bed for this?” and “How could he have run off so fast?”, the large crowed returned to their beds. As soon as they were out of sight, the young boy who had caused all the mayhem collapsed on the ground, roaring with laughter. “What fools!” he cried. “Believing in such a thing as a snurplegurt. Why, tomorrow shall be even more fun!” Still laughing, the boy sauntered down the road, back to his father’s barn.

The next day, the previous morning’s events were repeated, only this time the boy claimed for there to be a wholearmy of snurplegurts. This time, his warnings drew an even bigger crowd, all wishing to see and conquer this mysterious beast. But, alas, there was no snurplegurt once more. This time, the town was angry.

“What do you take us for? Fools?!”

“Snurplegurt…I should’ve known.”

“Can’t believe he’d trick us like that…who does he think he is anyway?”

“Let’s get him!”

The villagers turned to face the boy, and were shocked to see that he had disappeared. As they yelled in frustration, they could hear his laughter from the distance, as he skipped merrily down the hill.

The boy was filled with glee. He had fooled them not once, but twice! He, the boy who cried snurplegurt, had done it again. Smiling to himself, he continued to skip joyfully back to his father’s barn, when all of a sudden, something made his blood turn cold.

It was a growl that sounded like the crackle of flames. The boy’s laughs ceased as he froze in place.

Timidly, the boy spoke. “Wh-who’s there?”

“A-wooooooooooo!” It was a cry that sounded like it belonged to a werewolf. Shaking slightly, the boy turned around and gasped at what towered above him.

            It was a creature like no other; at approximately 10 feet tall, it somewhat resembled a wolf with a long golden horn sticking out of its head, as though it was the offspring of a wolf and a unicorn. Its eyes seemed to be made of ice and, flickering out from the creature’s rear, was a tale of fire.

            Finding the ability to speak again, the boy let out a single cry “Snurplegurt!”

            Although he was still within earshot of the town, the villagers ignored his desperate cries. “Snurplegurt,” they laughed. “If he thinks were falling for that one again…”

            Although the boy repeatedly cried out, no one ever came to his aid. And so, the moral is…

            Don’t count your snurplegurts before they’re hatched.

            Wait…I don’t think that was the right saying…

I just could not stop laughing at some points in the story. "We've got an angry mob to form!" had me going for several moments before I regained my composure. But anyway, nice job, Hermione! I really did like the Snurplegurt aspect to the whole ordeal. The moral could probably use a bit of tweaking... :}

Don't forget, Hermione, to email me your guest post so that I can have it up here in the near future.

Big shout-out to the runner-up Destiny Skye with her Little Red Riding Hood spoof. I'm sorry, you don't win a guest post for coming in 2nd place, but how about a nice pat on the back instead?

To any of you who did not win, stay tuned for later contests in the future to see if you can win a guest post or some other semi-awesome prize. Don't give up!

So once again, congrats, so sorry, and go eat a papaya parfait and hunt down some unicorns while you're at it.

That is all.

<3 Seana