Abominable Snowman Hunting
1. Well, if you've watched the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, you know that this snowman was only angry because of a toothache. So as a precaution, before heading out into the snow, be sure to grab your tooth-pulling thingy and be ready if you notice one howling and picking at its tooth/teeth.
2. If you hear one coming (wether by roar or foot stomping) HIDE. That's right, hide. If it sees you, you're done for and it will eat you. Not the most fun idea really early in the morning.
3. If it actually sees you because you chose to ignore step 2, give it some hot chocolate and a stuffed armadillo. They are well-known for being placated by a simple mug of warm deliciousness and a fuzzy pet to keep them company.
4. If that fails, do NOT run. Ya hear me? DON'T RUN AWAY. They can easily track you down and eat you. Hence step 2 of hiding.
5. Well since it saw you since you ran away and none of the other things worked, you may as well accept your fate as being its brunch.
6. Ignore step 5, it's too darn depressing. Oh, wait. You probably already read it to get down to step 6. Oops.
7. If you are still alive, congrats on making it to step 7! I do hope you brought along some other people with you, because if you did, you can SING to the beast! Yes, music soothes the savage beast they say. Who "they" are, I haven't the slightest idea. But sing every Christmas song you can remember and all your childhood lullabies. Perhaps this will calm down the beast!
8. If you have succeeded in making it fall asleep with your harmonious melodies, now is the time to get your net out. Make sure there are not any huge wholes in it (about abominable snowman size) or the giant will escape and you won't get your reward and most likely eaten. Quickly wrap the net around the snowman, but make sure that it is still breathing--no one wants a dead snowman for the zoo.
9. Uh-oh! The snowman is awaking! Just sing to it again. If it keeps waking up, be sure to give it back the stuffed armadillo it dropped when you sang it to sleep. There, that ought to keep him sleeping for a very long time. Stuffed armadillos are essential for this mission to be a success.
10. Now, take it to whoever was handing out the reward and retrieve your well-earned prize. Now you can just sit back and relax while everyone else gets to enjoy watching the snowman at the zoo and feeding him peanuts and other zoo food.
*11. NOTE: If you have already been eaten, I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do to help. But perhaps you could get famous for writing a book that takes place an abominable snowman's esophagus or liver. That is another way you could get rich! After you've finished writing this novel, you'll have to go in search of an editor and publisher in there...
<3 Seana
PS: I was running low on ideas halfway through this, so it wasn't as good as my hippo one. Oh well! =)
I liked this. Quite funny indeed. Remember the aardvark!
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